Lighter Moments

Never Argue with an IDIOT, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with the EXPERIENCE :-)

Corporate Lessons part 1

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly, Sir” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.” I just need one copy.”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true.”

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian’s turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, “SH**!!!!!!!………”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Mind your language, you never Know what it will land you in.

Guys I have come across, this excellent piece of Poetry.............. Kudos to the anonymous writer ......

Mastermind behind Orkut Communities

I received an interesting email, i was not aware of this fact.Sharing it with you all my regular readers, hope it interests you.Thanks to abhishek for sending this.............

He was/is working wid Google in the Google labs
And google gives 20% of the daily worktime to all their employees to do what interests them, be it development or fun.
So while at work with Google labs, orkut developed slowly and slowly his idea of a worldly community.
When he finished with it, google put it online and named it Orkut Community.This is the mastermind behind Orkut community.
Some facts about Orkut:
1)Orkut Buyukkokten(the creator of Orkut) gets $12 when every person registers to this website.
2)He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.
3)He gets $8 when your friend’s friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if anybody adds you as a friend in the resulting chain.
4)He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.
5)He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.
6)He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.
7)He gets $2 when you become somebody’s fan.
8)He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.
9)He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.
10)He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.
11)He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend’s scrap-book & $0.5 every time you view your friend’s friend-list.
12)Many Global Financial Consultants think this person might become the richest-person in the world by the end of 2009.
13)Finally, this is the best fact. This person has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 assistants to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps a day.

Visit
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=325082930226142255

LIONS ONSITE EXPERIENCE ...........


In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.

Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management? what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!

Moral of the story: Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!